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Writer's pictureWayne Gough

A cosy Covid Christmas

Ok it’s been a tough year, and while I don’t want to trivilise or play down the hurt and effect this virus has had in lives one of the greasiest British traits is to laugh and have fun in the face of adversity so I hope you receive this in the spirit it was written and enjoy



Santa Claus is coming to town

Or so the story goes

But Santa isolating this year

What happens heaven knows

The sleigh it has been grounded

Rudolph on Ferlough

We are gonna have a cosy Covid Christmas 🎄


Grandad won’t be coming this year

Too many cases in his town

Sister works for the NHS

So won’t be coming around

It’s enough to turn a saint to drink

But the darn pubs in lockdown

We are gonna have a cosy Covid Christmas



It’s time to get the family around

The monitor on zoom

At least we don’t need emergency chairs

And will have a bit more room.

Auntie Jean can’t unmute herself

And grannies full of doom

We are gonna have a cosy Covid Christmas


My daughter bought some sanitizer

That smells of Christmas cake

Cousin Jenny going out she thinks the whole things fake

She blames it all on 5G masts

Dad says “for heaven sake”

We are gonna have a cosy covid Christmas


We put the tree up in November

Started eating our mince pies

My shirt buttons will soon be popping

With super chunky thighs

Grannies been on the Bailey’s

You can see it in her eyes

It’s gonna be a cosy Covid Christmas


We are gathered around the telly

For the latest John Lewis takes

Piers Morgan’s having a meltdown

Calling everyone snowflakes

And we have all been drooling

Over marks and Spencer cakes

It’s gonna be a cosy Covid Christmas


We all queued up at Asda

Socially distanced obviously

To get our Christmas crackers

Brussels sprouts and cranberry

Now The turkeys in the oven

The tinsel on the tree.

We are gonna have a cosy Covid Christmas


This year is very different

But these challenges we will face

Cos we don’t want the nurses overwhelmed

We want to keep everybody safe

Remembering the baby Jesus

Not forgetting hands, face and space

We are gonna have a cosy Covid Christmas.







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